a few zen thoughts

A Few Zen Thoughts (For Those Who Take Life Too Seriously)

1. Save the whales. Collect the whole set.
2. A day without sunshine is like ... Night.
3. On the other hand, ....... you have different fingers.
4. I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.
5. 42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.
6. 99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
7. I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe.
8. Honk if you love peace and quiet.
9. Remember, half the people you know are below average.
10. He who laughs last, thinks slowest.
11. Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
12. The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
13. I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol.
14. Support bacteria. They're the only culture some people have.
15. Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7 of your life.
16. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
17. Change is inevitable, except from vending machines.
18. Get a new car for your spouse. It'll be a great trade!
19. Plan to be spontaneous, tomorrow.
20. Always try to be modest, and be proud of it!
21. If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments.
22. How many of you believe in telekinesis? Raise my hand...
23. OK, so what's the speed of dark?
24. How do you tell when you're out of invisible ink?
25. If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.
26. When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
27. Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.
28. Everyone has a photographic memory; Some just don't have film.
29. Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
30. What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
31. I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out.
32. I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.
33. Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?

AND THE ONE I RELATE TO THE MOST THESE DAYS

34. Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what the hell happened.

Are you sure it's just 99 percent of the lawyers? Seems like it would be around 99.9 percent. And why don't psychics always win the lotto. Seems it would be easy enough for them.

Joebert wrote:

Are you sure it's just 99 percent of the lawyers? Seems like it would be around 99.9 percent. And why don't psychics always win the lotto. Seems it would be easy enough for them.

Not to even mention the pony races and the stock market...

java wrote:

A Few Zen Thoughts (For Those Who Take Life Too Seriously)

1. Save the whales. Collect the whole set.
2. A day without sunshine is like ... Night.
3. On the other hand, ....... you have different fingers.
4. I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.
5. 42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.
6. 99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
7. I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe.
8. Honk if you love peace and quiet.
9. Remember, half the people you know are below average.
10. He who laughs last, thinks slowest.
11. Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
12. The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
13. I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol.
14. Support bacteria. They're the only culture some people have.
15. Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7 of your life.
16. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
17. Change is inevitable, except from vending machines.
18. Get a new car for your spouse. It'll be a great trade!
19. Plan to be spontaneous, tomorrow.
20. Always try to be modest, and be proud of it!
21. If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments.
22. How many of you believe in telekinesis? Raise my hand...
23. OK, so what's the speed of dark?
24. How do you tell when you're out of invisible ink?
25. If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.
26. When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
27. Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.
28. Everyone has a photographic memory; Some just don't have film.
29. Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
30. What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
31. I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out.
32. I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.
33. Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?

AND THE ONE I RELATE TO THE MOST THESE DAYS

34. Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what the hell happened.

hey, what the hell happened?

Change, it's inevitable.

Giada wrote:

Change, it's inevitable.

not with obama, unless it's for the worse

Giada wrote:

Change, it's inevitable.

But is it change we can believe in ?

BMG wrote:

Giada wrote:

Change, it's inevitable.

But is it change we can believe in ?

If you're Ripley, I guess.

I have some change...about 35 cents.